this will officially be my first writing here. it is to serve the purpose of allowing me to express myself - my highs & lows - the emotional journey that i had travelled to arrive at what i'm today. i know what i've been through is probably very insignificant to the world at large. cause' it doesn't stop the world from spinning but it did stop my world from spinning regularly & correctly. & thou the sun still rises in the east but to me it is a different sun.

i guess from every perspective, i'm still a very fortunate girl & rightly so, i should be savouring on what i have in life instead of pinning for something that never truly belongs to me in the first place. however, life is just so contridicting at times. my rational being tells me to move on in life, to forget about the existence of the very person who hurt me. but somehow, i'm still entangled in the web of emotions & from time to time, all these emotions seemed to envelope my sense of being. & it turned out that i'm still stuck in the spot, where i was in the very beginning. i'm still in love with him.

this blog is about my secret affair with a 37 years old man who is infact 17 years apart from me. & eventually, our affair was discovered by his 32 years old wife. whatever follows in the process will have to wait till my next blog entry. i know it sounds incredibly unbelievable, rather like the novel story of lolita. but i swear upon my soul that every details mentioned here are only in it's truest form.

so, i am living two lives. a sane, rational & loving daughter VS a tender, erotic & compassionate lover.